The Gift of Forgiveness

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Do you ever find yourself returning to the same incident in your mind over and over again?  Maybe it happened an hour ago, 2 years ago, 20 years ago, maybe even in childhood?  You find yourself returning to the scenario, often spinning tall tales about how it could have been different, how it could have been avoided, what you should have said, how wrong the other person was.  You find yourself feeling resentment towards another person or yourself.  No matter how hard you try, you find it difficult to let it go.

Forgiveness is a natural remedy for resentment, regardless of how unnatural it may feel.  The word forgiveness can conjure up some strong emotions.  There is a misunderstanding that forgiveness means that we should release someone for doing something that may have even been a horrific act.  That we make whatever they did OK.  Forgiveness is NOT for the other person.  It is absolutely NOT to make whatever they did OK.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.  It is the gift of freeing up the valuable space in our minds that could be used for something constructive like solving problems, being present with another human being, feeling joy or creating dreams for our future.  It also frees us up from returning to those emotional and physiological feelings that just don’t feel good in our bodies and that can often be harmful.

I didn’t always know this.  As a matter of fact, I thought I had been “practicing forgiveness” for many, many, MANY years.  I couldn’t figure out why the resentment never really went away.  I now understand that forgiveness is a daily practice.  As long as we are breathing, we have something to forgive.  It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion.  We peel back a layer only to see that there is another layer behind it.

In the process of breaking apart my own life some years ago I learned some invaluable tools for forgiveness.  I had the good fortune of practicing my new tools on a person in my life with whom I was experiencing quite a bit of resentment.  Whenever this person came into my awareness, and at the time it was a lot, my throat would become constricted, my shoulders would drift toward my ears and I would begin to feel a defensive shift in my body, it was quite uncomfortable.  I realized one day, after I had been practicing my new tools daily, that I didn’t have that uncomfortable feeling as much anymore.  It was a marked difference for me.  It felt as if a weight had been lifted from me and I was able to see this person in a whole new light.

Ho’oponopono is one these practices.  It is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.  It is simple but powerful.  It involves saying the following 3 phrases quietly in the mind, repeatedly.  Sometimes it takes a few rounds to feel the shift and sometimes it requires many.  Done regularly, it can change your life!

“I AM Sorry…Please Forgive Me”

“Thank you…I Am Grateful”

“I Love You”

By saying I’m Sorry…Please Forgive Me, I am acknowledging judgement and asking forgiveness for this judgement.

By saying Thank You…I AM Grateful, I am expressing gratitude for the opportunity to clear resentful thoughts.

By saying I Love You, I am generating a sense of joy, happiness and abundance.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

Need help starting a forgiveness practice?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

Photo Credit:  gift_© Jinyoung Lee Dreamstime

 

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100 Ways

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One of the best ways I’ve found to generate joy in my life is my gratitude practice.

I do it first thing in the morning as part of my morning ritual.

In my dedicated gratitude journal, every day.

I review the day before and create a simple list of 10 things I am grateful for.

Sometimes the items on the list are as basic as being grateful for my gratitude practice.

Other times they may involve something more complex, such as the day after my accident.

On that day, I was grateful for my life, that my children were snug in their beds at the time, and so much more.

Some days it is a challenge, depending on my thought management.

But it always helps me to see things differently.

To find the good, the joy, the beauty in life.

This has not always been easy for me.

In my former life, I saw the glass half empty.

But and what if were constants in my mind chatter and my word.

Now, I look forward to my gratitude practice, the opportunity to start the day with grateful eyes.

I kick started my gratitude practice by creating a list of 100 people I am grateful for.

At first this task felt daunting, so I wrote daily for a week, reflecting each day on my life.

I started with my present life and progressed backward in time…life with kids, life with my husband before kids, adult life before my husband, early adulthood, childhood…

I was amazed to find that when I was finished I had over 125 people on my list.

I am still adding to that list.

And you are on it:)

Wishing you well

Tracy

Need help starting a gratitude practice?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

What Brings You Life?

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What kind of life would YOU love living?  YOU.  Not your family.  Not your friends.  Not the media.  YOU!

What would YOU love?

What brings YOU life?

What do YOU want to do or create or be in this life?

Think about it…really…let your imagination run wild…

Most of us, when we think about what we really want, start with what we think we could do, what we should do, what our present circumstances allow, what the economy is doing, what our bank account says…

It’s time to start asking different questions, bigger questions.

What do YOU desire?

What would fill YOU to the brim?

What would a wealthy life look like to YOU?  Wealth is not just about money.  Merriam-Webster defines wealth as abundant supply.  We can have wealth in any area of life.  We can be wealthy in health, wealthy in time, wealthy in love, wealthy in support…

Designing a wealthy life begins with knowing what you really want

What do you desire?

And what else and what else and what else…

 

Wishing you well,

Tracy

Need help clarifying what you would love?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

 

Freedom Of Choice

Creating Reality With Thoughts

You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Elizabeth Gilbert

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We create the life we lead. Whether we mean to or not. Oftentimes, we create it exactly the way we did yesterday, the year before and the year before that. Like Ground Hog Day. Over and over and over again. The people and circumstances may change slightly but we have the same life, the same health, the same relationships, the same job. We may give our circumstances a face-lift.  A new house.  A new job.  But in essence, we stick with the pattern that has been ingrained in us, the pattern we have ingrained in ourselves. Our mind likes patterns.

We create the life we lead by the thoughts we think. Simple but true. If we ever wonder where our focus is, we need no more than to look at our lives.

Circumstances are circumstances. They are simply what happens around us.

Thoughts, about circumstances, create feelings.

Feelings generate actions.

Actions produce results.

Results are the lives we lead.

Good News!!! We have complete control over our thoughts. In fact, our thoughts are the only thing in life that we have complete control over.

Try this…

  1. Identify a problem you are having.
  2. Trace the problem back to a thought.
  3. Up-level the thought to a more empowering one.  A slightly up-leveled thought will feel more realistic than going from anger straight to joy.  It will also have a slightly different feel to it.  Thought:  I am angry  Up-leveled thought:  I am disappointed.

Try this with all of your undesirable thoughts. It takes practice but it will change your life. One thought at a time.

Wishing you well.

Tracy

Want support in up-leveling your thoughts and your life?  Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

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