The Inner Mean Girl

© Mamz heart depicted in sand Dreamstime

I have an inner mean girl.

She’s critical.  She’s judgmental.  She’s ruthless.

She tries her best to talk me out of any good I seek.

“Just trying to keep you safe,” she says.

She keeps me on my toes, making sure I do it all just right.

Not a hair out of place, not a misspoken word.

“Don’t let them see your imperfections,” she’ll say.

She likes patterns.  Failure is her favorite.

“See”, she says.  “You don’t have what it takes.”

She finds endless examples to support her case.

If I let her she will beat me into submission.

 

I have an inner advocate.

She’s kind.  She’s caring.  She’s compassionate.

“I love you,” she’ll say.  “You are perfect just the way you are.”

She’s incredibly powerful.  A badass.

“You can move mountains,” she says.  “You ARE doing it.”

She’s supportive.  She urges me to take bold, brave steps in the direction of my dreams.

“It’s ok,” she says, “step out of your comfort zone.  I’ll be here by your side.”

She’s a bit quieter than my inner mean girl but she is always with me.

She’s as dependable as the rising sun.

And, the more I summon her, the richer my life becomes.

 

Wishing you well,

Tracy

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Photo Credit:  © Mamz heart depicted in sand Dreamstime

The Gift of Forgiveness

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Do you ever find yourself returning to the same incident in your mind over and over again?  Maybe it happened an hour ago, 2 years ago, 20 years ago, maybe even in childhood?  You find yourself returning to the scenario, often spinning tall tales about how it could have been different, how it could have been avoided, what you should have said, how wrong the other person was.  You find yourself feeling resentment towards another person or yourself.  No matter how hard you try, you find it difficult to let it go.

Forgiveness is a natural remedy for resentment, regardless of how unnatural it may feel.  The word forgiveness can conjure up some strong emotions.  There is a misunderstanding that forgiveness means that we should release someone for doing something that may have even been a horrific act.  That we make whatever they did OK.  Forgiveness is NOT for the other person.  It is absolutely NOT to make whatever they did OK.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.  It is the gift of freeing up the valuable space in our minds that could be used for something constructive like solving problems, being present with another human being, feeling joy or creating dreams for our future.  It also frees us up from returning to those emotional and physiological feelings that just don’t feel good in our bodies and that can often be harmful.

I didn’t always know this.  As a matter of fact, I thought I had been “practicing forgiveness” for many, many, MANY years.  I couldn’t figure out why the resentment never really went away.  I now understand that forgiveness is a daily practice.  As long as we are breathing, we have something to forgive.  It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion.  We peel back a layer only to see that there is another layer behind it.

In the process of breaking apart my own life some years ago I learned some invaluable tools for forgiveness.  I had the good fortune of practicing my new tools on a person in my life with whom I was experiencing quite a bit of resentment.  Whenever this person came into my awareness, and at the time it was a lot, my throat would become constricted, my shoulders would drift toward my ears and I would begin to feel a defensive shift in my body, it was quite uncomfortable.  I realized one day, after I had been practicing my new tools daily, that I didn’t have that uncomfortable feeling as much anymore.  It was a marked difference for me.  It felt as if a weight had been lifted from me and I was able to see this person in a whole new light.

Ho’oponopono is one these practices.  It is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.  It is simple but powerful.  It involves saying the following 3 phrases quietly in the mind, repeatedly.  Sometimes it takes a few rounds to feel the shift and sometimes it requires many.  Done regularly, it can change your life!

“I AM Sorry…Please Forgive Me”

“Thank you…I Am Grateful”

“I Love You”

By saying I’m Sorry…Please Forgive Me, I am acknowledging judgement and asking forgiveness for this judgement.

By saying Thank You…I AM Grateful, I am expressing gratitude for the opportunity to clear resentful thoughts.

By saying I Love You, I am generating a sense of joy, happiness and abundance.

Wishing you well!

Tracy

Need help starting a forgiveness practice?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

Photo Credit:  gift_© Jinyoung Lee Dreamstime

 

100 Ways

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One of the best ways I’ve found to generate joy in my life is my gratitude practice.

I do it first thing in the morning as part of my morning ritual.

In my dedicated gratitude journal, every day.

I review the day before and create a simple list of 10 things I am grateful for.

Sometimes the items on the list are as basic as being grateful for my gratitude practice.

Other times they may involve something more complex, such as the day after my accident.

On that day, I was grateful for my life, that my children were snug in their beds at the time, and so much more.

Some days it is a challenge, depending on my thought management.

But it always helps me to see things differently.

To find the good, the joy, the beauty in life.

This has not always been easy for me.

In my former life, I saw the glass half empty.

But and what if were constants in my mind chatter and my word.

Now, I look forward to my gratitude practice, the opportunity to start the day with grateful eyes.

I kick started my gratitude practice by creating a list of 100 people I am grateful for.

At first this task felt daunting, so I wrote daily for a week, reflecting each day on my life.

I started with my present life and progressed backward in time…life with kids, life with my husband before kids, adult life before my husband, early adulthood, childhood…

I was amazed to find that when I was finished I had over 125 people on my list.

I am still adding to that list.

And you are on it:)

Wishing you well

Tracy

Need help starting a gratitude practice?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

What Brings You Life?

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What kind of life would YOU love living?  YOU.  Not your family.  Not your friends.  Not the media.  YOU!

What would YOU love?

What brings YOU life?

What do YOU want to do or create or be in this life?

Think about it…really…let your imagination run wild…

Most of us, when we think about what we really want, start with what we think we could do, what we should do, what our present circumstances allow, what the economy is doing, what our bank account says…

It’s time to start asking different questions, bigger questions.

What do YOU desire?

What would fill YOU to the brim?

What would a wealthy life look like to YOU?  Wealth is not just about money.  Merriam-Webster defines wealth as abundant supply.  We can have wealth in any area of life.  We can be wealthy in health, wealthy in time, wealthy in love, wealthy in support…

Designing a wealthy life begins with knowing what you really want

What do you desire?

And what else and what else and what else…

 

Wishing you well,

Tracy

Need help clarifying what you would love?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

 

Freedom Of Choice

Creating Reality With Thoughts

You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Elizabeth Gilbert

doves_flying_© Cook Dreamstime

We create the life we lead. Whether we mean to or not. Oftentimes, we create it exactly the way we did yesterday, the year before and the year before that. Like Ground Hog Day. Over and over and over again. The people and circumstances may change slightly but we have the same life, the same health, the same relationships, the same job. We may give our circumstances a face-lift.  A new house.  A new job.  But in essence, we stick with the pattern that has been ingrained in us, the pattern we have ingrained in ourselves. Our mind likes patterns.

We create the life we lead by the thoughts we think. Simple but true. If we ever wonder where our focus is, we need no more than to look at our lives.

Circumstances are circumstances. They are simply what happens around us.

Thoughts, about circumstances, create feelings.

Feelings generate actions.

Actions produce results.

Results are the lives we lead.

Good News!!! We have complete control over our thoughts. In fact, our thoughts are the only thing in life that we have complete control over.

Try this…

  1. Identify a problem you are having.
  2. Trace the problem back to a thought.
  3. Up-level the thought to a more empowering one.  A slightly up-leveled thought will feel more realistic than going from anger straight to joy.  It will also have a slightly different feel to it.  Thought:  I am angry  Up-leveled thought:  I am disappointed.

Try this with all of your undesirable thoughts. It takes practice but it will change your life. One thought at a time.

Wishing you well.

Tracy

Want support in up-leveling your thoughts and your life?  Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

Photo Credit:  © Cook doves flying Dreamstime

The Ripple

 water_drop_in_pool_© Pdiaz Dreamstime Stock Photos

“Only in stillness does the imperceivable become discernible”
― Bryant McGill

How many times have you had a problem that you were trying to solve only to come up with the same 5 answers? Like Ground Hog Day…asking the same questions, getting the same answers that just don’t work.

I recently learned this cool concept about casting a thought into stillness. It’s not the concept that is new, but the way it was presented that made soooo much sense. It has completely changed my daily meditation practice.

Imagine the ripple a rock makes when thrown into a still pond. The ripple is clear and distinct and has far reaching effects. Now, imagine throwing a rock into the choppy surface of the same pond on a windy day. The ripple made by the rock gets absorbed by the chaos on the windy surface making it impossible to differentiate.

So, we can apply this concept to our minds as well. When we are faced with a problem and are searching for an answer, it is much more effective to throw a question into a still mind, as in meditation, where the question permeates out into the “infi-net”. A question thrown into our daily consciousness is likely to get swept away with the 60,000 other thoughts that consume our minds, many of which are the same thoughts we had yesterday, making it impossible to differentiate one thought from the next.

Try this…

  1. In the morning, find a quiet place, anyplace you can be alone for 10 minutes – in a corner, in your bed, outside, in a closet…be creative!
  2. Set the timer on your phone for 10 minutes.
  3. Ask a question such as “What is the most elegant solution to…?” What questions work better than how questions.
  4. Quiet your mind, focus on your breath, count backwards, whatever method works best for you to bring your mind back to stillness.
  5. The answers may not come immediately or in the usual ways, but be open to what comes into your awareness over the next few days in the form of thoughts, conversations, messages etc…

Wishing you well.

Tracy

Want support in designing a life you love?  Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

Photo Credit:  © Pdiaz water drop in pool Dreamstime Photos

Little Eyes, Ears and Hearts

Your life is a personal lesson. For everyone else it is a loud example.  Richelle E. Goodrich

© Vladimirnikulin Dreamstime.com Hands Holding The Sun Photo

Have you ever watched your children play or listened to their conversations?  Chances are you noticed a lot of yourself in those precious moments.  Sometimes our hearts swell with pride and other times, we are not so pleased with what we are unintentionally sharing with them.

We have an opportunity here, a gift. A gift that will last a lifetime. We can choose to model our best self for our children. We can choose to model the hero’s journey over the victim’s journey, the high road over the low road. We can choose to live authentic, empowered, balanced lives.  We have choice, always.

Our children are learning how to navigate through life by watching us. They are carefully tuned into us, their teachers, for direction. It is up to us to model what we’d most like to see.

It won’t be perfect, sometimes it will be frustrating as hell, we may not see it until they are in their thirties but by reaching deep within ourselves we are giving our children an immeasurable gift and the beginnings of a new legacy.

Little eyes, ears and hearts are always watching.  Let them see the best version of you.

Wishing you well.

Tracy

Want support in modeling what you want to see in your children? Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

Photo Credit:  © Vladimirnikulin Dreamstime.com Hands Holding The Sun

The Intention Box

A Safe Place to Hold Dreams

© Ruletkka Dreamstime.com Magic Box Photo

Your word is your wand. The words you speak create your own destiny.  Florence Scovel Shinn

After my Grandma Grace passed away I inherited a lovely box. It was given to her from a Shiseido rep when she worked the cosmetic counter of a department store.  Instead of housing the powder puff it used to, although it still holds the scent, it now holds my intentions, my dreams.

There is a certain power in writing down your dreams. It is as if by bringing the words out of your head and onto paper, you are presenting it to the Universe.  Placing your order with the Cosmic Waiter.

Periodically, I open the box to place a new intention in it. I never cease to be amazed that more often than not, my intentions have come to pass.

Pam Grout, author of E2 Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality, shares that there is an order to placing an intention, a process for success.

  1. Write down what you want as clearly as possible and then back off. It is your business to be as clear as possible about WHAT you want but leave the HOW to the Cosmic Waiter.
  2. Write a start date as well as a “due date”. A beginning and an end.
  3. Visualize your intention as often as you can.

a. as if it has already happened

b. with all of your senses

Wishing you well.

Tracy

Want support in designing a life you love? Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

Photo Credit:  © Ruletkka Dreamstime.com Magic Box Photo

Decide and Conquer

Opening The Door To Possibility

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“You just have to persevere. One day that door will open.  If you don’t persevere, you won’t be there when it does.”  Carole King

I spent much of my adult life feeling as if I was on “the edge of greatness”. As if I was waiting for a lightning bolt to strike down and then I would know exactly what to do and when.  I was so afraid that I was going to make the “wrong” decision.  That my very being depended on being perfect and making “good” choices.  So, I stayed in indecision, and nothing happened.

It took a long time to learn that the next step is only revealed after we take the first step, any step, as uncertain as it may feel. It takes forward momentum to make a change, to live more fully, to experience more joy in our lives.  It could be a very tiny step.  Maybe it’s a phone call, hitting the I’M IN button on a website, making a different choice at the grocery store.

Taking a step opens the door for new possibilities. It’s like giving the universe your RSVP.  It’s a YES!  I’ll be there.

The only “wrong” decision is not making one at all.

So, make a decision, take a step and walk through that door.

Wishing you well.

Tracy

Need help deciding what step to take?  Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

Photo Credit: © Yaryhee Landscape Behind The Opening Door, 3D Photo Dreamstime

 

Ruby Slippers

The Way Back Home
“You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.”  Glinda, the Good Witch  The Wizard Of Oz

sequined red slippers on dark tile© Vclements Dreamstime

For most of my adult life I searched for inner peace outside of myself. I looked for it in relationships, in education, in jobs, in books, in workshops, in exercise, in food, in alcohol, in this, in that, in the other thing.  Did I mention baked goods…???

I searched and searched for the magic bullet, the ruby slipper that would take me home to my essence, my joy, the happy life I so desired. Although I often felt like I was on the edge of greatness, my paradigms always managed to keep me stuck in my story, in my circumstances, in my regrets from the past and my fears about the future.

There was a shadow or two residing deep inside of me that held me back. That kept me from experiencing the peace, joy and happiness I sought.  There is an odd comfort in staying in the darkness.  We know it, it is familiar, we can relate to others because of it.  And, honestly, it may be an epic story.

My Highly Sensitive Child, my greatest teacher, taught me a lesson about staying in my story. That staying in my story kept my loved ones in the story as well.  He taught me that I really did have the Ruby Slippers I so desired.  All I needed to do was put them on.  Trust in the magic and I’d be on my way back home.

Life is not perfect, I am human. I am perfectly imperfect.  I sometimes lose track of my Ruby Slippers, think that I’ve lost them, but they are always there for me.  They always fit.

You have a pair too! Try them on.  They may feel a bit awkward at first, but I promise you will find your own way of wearing them.

Wishing you well.

Tracy

Need help finding your ruby slippers?  Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

Photo Credit: sequined red slippers on dark tile© Vclements Dreamstime